More than meets the I

Best movement I've seen in a while. This is a coalition of scientists and engineers, which you may have been able to guess from their title, who are sick of the Bush administration pushing their ideological crap onto the scientific community and impeding real progress. Website: www.sefora.org.

SEforA's Bill of Rights (check out 6 and 7 especially):

1. Federal policy shall be made using the best available science and analysis both from within the government and from the rest of society.
2. The federal government shall never intentionally publish false or misleading scientific information nor post such material on federal websites.
3. Scientists conducting research or analysis with federal funding shall be free to discuss and publish the results of unclassified research after a reasonable period of review without fear of intimidation or adverse personnel action.
4. Federal employees reporting what they believe to be manipulation of federal research and analysis for political or ideological reasons should be free to bring this information to the attention of the public and shall be protected from intimidation, retribution or adverse personnel action by effective enforcement of Whistle Blower laws.
5. No scientists should fear reprisals or intimidation because of the results of their research.
6. Appointments to federal scientific advisory committees shall be based on the candidate’s scientific qualifications, not political affiliation or ideology.
7. The federal government shall not support any science education program that includes instruction in concepts that are derived from ideology and not science.
While scientists may elect to withhold methods or studies that might be misused there shall be no federal prohibition on publication of basic research results.
8. Decisions made about blocking the release of information about specific applied research and technologies for reasons of national security shall be the result of a transparent process. Classification decisions shall be made by trained professionals using a clear set of published criteria and there shall be a clear process for challenging decisions and a process for remedying mistakes and abuses of the classification system.

Go team! Keep up the good work! Please go visit their site; donate if you are so inclined; sign up for their email list. This movement deserves all the support we can give. Go science go!

The future is now, folks: Dishwasher-cooked salmon. Insane. (The sauce actually sounds pretty good.)

I seem to be running low on momentous insights lately. Sorry, loyal readers. I'm just too damn happy to be pensive lately, and I suppose that's not so bad, right? :-D

Oh, go check out Cliffle's blog for some very amusing pictures. Happy Tuesday! And happy birthday, Daddoo!

Avast, lubber yar land plank, matey cannon wench parrot!

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! (How can you not get into the hype? C'mon, Allan, you're the piraty-est person I know, so you best be arr'in' today or else I will cry bitter tears at you.) :-D

Honey, when we get married, can we have a cake like this one?

:-D

I just watched Advent Children again. That is a sexy-ass movie, I must say, even if it truly loses some magic to watch it in English rather than Japanese with subtitles. (Hey, back off, I just wanted to see how it turned out.) Out of curiosity and boredom, I hit IMDB for the American voices, and who is the voice of the video game character that comes closest to making me cream my petticoats? Fucking Steve Burton, who played the gimpy boyfriend on "Out of this World." Anyone remember that show? (I can still sing the whole song, of course.) The girl who could touch her fingers together and stop time (how many times did I try that myself, with no luck), whose dad talked to her from a glowing cube on her desk (heh! And I just learned that that was voiced by Burt Reynolds! And directed by Scott Baio? Charles in fucking Charge? OMGLOLWTF, and I mean that wholeheartedly), and whose acting was generally shit; I remember that even through the airbrush of being young and dumb. Ah, sweet memories.

I don't watch cartoons that are on nowadays, so I find myself wondering -- without any inclination to go find out, really -- if they still condescend so terribly to kids. I recently picked up "She-Ra" on Netflix, and as I expected it's awful -- the acting, the dialogue, plots, you name it. I have a healthy dose of nostalgia over it, of course, and it's fun to see Catra in "person" when the last time I saw her (going on 20 years ago! Christ!) she was mere plastic. But it is awful. I did watch it fully expecting it to be terrible; I learned my lesson from "Thundercats" some years back, when I was expecting to love it nearly as much as I did as a kid and was shocked to find that it was a miserably piss-poor bit of programming. That was a sad day. This is also why I never let Vince talk me into watching the old Zelda cartoons, the especially special Friday versions of the Super Mario Bros. show, because I knew they, too, would be depressingly crappy and I want to keep that part of my childhood intact. (I am such a Zelda lover, after all.)

This is one of those wacky nostalgic posts that has no real point. Please accept my apology. [punchy closing statement here]

My delicious boyfriend and I went to Santa Cruz yesterday. We bopped on the beach, rode the cable cars, played minigolf, and generally had a fantastic time. Yesterday made it to the ranks of Snow Day (tm) (about three people know what I'm talking about there). It is the most fun I've had in a while.

Here is proof:







I am so happy.

I don't like advertising.

In fact, I have gotten to the point where unavoidable advertising genuinely makes angry. Not violently, Hulk-style angry, but it is definintely a feeling that goes beyond annoyance. It is so pervasive! The only way I can avoid ads at this point is to stand two inches from the wall in my apartment, in the dark, in total silence, and look neither right or left for such a period of time as it takes me to calm down.

Advertising is just so bad. The awful jingles and terribly contrived dialogue. (Have I bitched about this before? I feel like I have. So what, it deserves more bitching! Rar!) Stupid posters on the sides of buses and hanging in the mall. I refuse to watch TV, so I don't even know how bad it is on there. Don't even get me started on Myspace! (Why did I ever get started on Myspace?) Awful webpages with flashing crap and those stupid windows with the fake close buttons. I cannot imagine that advertising really works this well, and I firmly believe that it will work LESS well as time goes on, as they enter into a supersaturated state and suddenly everyone just explodes. (Okay, that doesn't really happen with supersaturated solutions. But it sounds better than "everyone will suddenly crystalize and not be able to move anymore." Which might also happen.)

I have decided that I am going on the offensive. For example: I use Bed Head shampoo and conditioner. Perhaps this makes me spoiled and princessy, but I like it. My most recent purchase of said shampoo and conditioner came with an offer for a FREE BED HEAD BACKPACK. I can clearly see through their reasoning here -- if I am using Bed Head, then of course my hair must be fantastically attractive (ha), and if I walk around carrying their cheap nylon pink backpack with their logo emblazoned upon it, people on the street will take notice! They'll say "look at that fantastic head of hair! What could possibly have produced it?" And their eyes will wander to my ugly nylon pink bag, and they will say "Aha! I too could have such fantastic hair if I run to the store and purchase eight Bed Head products right now!" The marketing people are tapping their fingers in glee over this one.

Well I will FOIL THEIR PLAN! I want to cash in on my offer of a free backpack, and then find some hobo in south San Fran and hand it to him. (I'd be sweet and put sandwiches in it or something so that he either wouldn't know he was part of my diabolical plan, or wouldn't care.) Then, people would see this awful head of hair cum Bed Head backpack and run away screaming. It's perfect, because what city is more posh and hair-centric than San Francisco? Maybe I'd take it a step further and give it to some bald guy! Bed Head's sales will take a nose dive! Join me! Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Wait -- then I wouldn't be able to get my shampoo. Fuck.

Well, um, tune in next week for my next brilliant plan to kill off the Pillsbury Dougboy once and for all! Mwa ha oh wait they did that on Family Guy. Fuck. Just don't bother tuning in next week. *hides in the corner and cries*

Funny from McSweeney's today. I've only posted two of three cause I didn't think the last one was as amusing, but you can always go check it out for yourself. :-D Happy Friday!


THREE NEW
MAC AD IDEAS.

BY TOM BATTEN
- - - -

1.

The effortlessly hip but still harmlessly nerdy Mac Guy stands next to the antiquated but sweet PC Guy in their standard pose. The Mac Guy pulls a pair of binoculars from behind his back and begins looking off into the distance.

PC Guy asks him, "Excuse me, what is that you are doing?"

Mac Guy looks away from his binoculars for a moment, replying, "Oh, hey. I'm just doing a simple search. No big deal."

PC Guy smiles and says, "Hey, I can do that, too!"

PC Guy picks up some binoculars off the ground and raises them to his face. However, instead of looking through them like the Mac Guy, he hurls them against the wall behind him, where they smash into a thousand pieces. He then picks up a gas can and dumps the contents over his head.

The Mac Guy is taken aback by this behavior, and yells at him, "What the hell are you doing, dude?"

PC Guy has now taken a book of matches from his coat pocket. He looks at Mac Guy with a smarmy grin. "I'm running a simple application."

With that, he lights himself on fire and dies screaming.



2.

Same pose to begin with as usual. A beautiful Japanese girl comes up to the Mac Guy and kisses him passionately, then takes his hand and stands smiling beside him.

PC Guy asks, "Hey, what is that all about?"

Mac Guy: "Oh, we're just making a connection. It's pretty effortless when you're a Mac, dude."

Another beautiful Japanese girl walks up and smiles coyly at PC Guy.

"Oh, a simple connection ... well, I can do that, too."

PC Guy takes the Japanese girl by the hand and pulls her close to him. He moves in to kiss her, and the instant before they make contact she heaves forward and vomits a writhing mass of worms into his mouth.

PC Guy turns to Mac Guy, worms falling from his mouth, and mumbles, "See? No problem!"

The grand weekend o' fun has come and gone. And it was certainly good times, even if we decided to be lazy and skip the beach. I fear that Justin felt a bit out of sorts, being the single guy amidst several couples that he didn't know all that well (sorry, Justin) but overall, fun was had in spades. I will unashamedly admit that we spent a very large proportion of the weekend playing Mario Party 6. That's right, I said I'm not ashamed. You can't judge my dorkiness. :)

I find myself pensive tonight, now that the excitement has died down again and the birthdays have passed for another year. I need to give gifts again. I stopped giving people presents, except for obligatory ones at Christmas. I don't send cards. Justin came to my home this weekend to share our birthdays (his is the day after mine), and he brought me gifts, and I had nothing to give him for his birthday. I tried to lavish him with food, which didn't always work out, but I feel genuine guilt for thinking that insisting no one buy me gifts meant that they wouldn't, and that I shouldn't have gifts to give in return. My out-of-state people don't even get e-cards; my in-state people generally get lunch. I am a poor sort of friend.

So, I am treating this just-past birthday as a New Year's of sorts. I am going to re-embrace the mail, because who doesn't enjoy receiving a letter or a card? A birthday phone call or the buying of lunch is not enough -- not enough present for a birthday and not enough acknowledgement of a friendship. I have been selfish, or naïve, or both. Shame on me, shame, for thinking that my friends would be as stingy as I have been. I am sorry.

Cynthia and Gretchen have got it right. They send cards and postcards through the mail for no real reason, just to let the recipient know they are thinking of him/her. Then there is Juliet who mails out her own writing to a growing list of subscribers, and includes a personalized gift or activity with every one she sends. I have no excuse.

I think part of the reason here has been that I've been in financial starvation mode since I moved out of my parents' house (the first time) at 20. I've never been able to truly get ahead of living paycheck-to-paycheck. Not even now, when I'm making more than I ever have and am living with a most generous boyfriend, do I feel comfortable. So, I've cut out most frivolous spending all along the way, and I think therein lies the problem -- that I've classified gifts for others as "frivolous" rather than putting them in a less miserly category. I am deeply ashamed of this mindset. No more! A few fewer trips to Starbucks and a few more unexpected reminders of my friendship for people. I am sorry for my selfishness.

Y'know, one of these posts (probably not one that's going to occur anytime soon) has got to be a story of me solving my last problem, and then I will go petrify under a tree somewhere and spout my wisdom to those who would hike to my side. And I will most certainly make sure to keep a stack of thank you cards for everyone who drops by.