More than meets the I

I am totally a sucker for lolcats. *blush*

What are lolcats, you ask? An extremely dorky form of amusement: basically, pictures of cats + a blend of 1337sp34k3 and just plain ridiculous spelling. The irony here is that if someone sent me an email like that I would have to hurt them.

I started with Cute Overload and went from there. (Side note: I love the pictures on Cute Overload. It's a wonderful break to a stressful afternoon. However, I HATE the silly captions in the gawdawful "accents." Skip 'em.) Then there's "I Can Has Cheezburger?", which I often find hilarious. There are giant lists I page through from time to time here and here.

Am I an even bigger dork if I admit to taking pictures of my cat all the time, in the hopes that I catch her in a hilarious pose, which I can then caption and send to one of these websites? ... Don't answer that.

Addendum: Here is my favorite picture evar, with a quote that makes me love it all the more. Seriously, the cuteness of this cat hurts me. I have it as my background on both my home and work computers. Ahh why am I still talking.

Labels: lolcats

Pop quiz! Please answer the following to the best of your ability.

You are in class, and everyone is working on an assignment the teacher has just given. Suddenly, the teacher shouts for everyone to drop what they're doing and run over to you to observe everything you're doing wrong. The teacher and the rest of the class circle you as she points out your flaws one by one, and they all nod in agreement. You feel:

a) ashamed
b) humiliated
c) angry
d) grateful

This happened to me in my yoga class last Wednesday. We all got into [unpronouceable and unspellable Sanskrit name] or Proud Warrior pose, and my teacher Suzanne walked around perusing the class like usual. When she got to me, she made everyone jump out of their poses to crowd around me so should could point out what I was doing wrong. My weight was too far forward, my torso was shifted too far to the left, my pelvis was rotated wrong, the list went on. And I wasn't allowed to correct for any of it until the class had looked their fill. Now, if this had happened in any other situation I would have felt a, b, c, and probably a host of other emotions, just like anyone, right? But yoga is such a wonderful, supportive environment, that I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. The teacher was trying to help not only me, but the whole class. No one was laughing at my shifted torso or rotated pelvis; they were all absorbing the information to help themselves the next time they became Proud Warriors. It occurs to me that it's quite strange that my first reaction was peace and gratitude rather than "hey!" But I think it speaks volumes of the type of environment yoga is. Loving, supportive, wonderful; I have yet to meet an asshole in any of my classes. It's pretty great.

I was thinking about this yesterday because I took a three-hour yoga workshop, and my coworker/friend Anne came to it with me. There were a couple of poses she was having trouble with due to her tight shoulders (it was, after all a neck/shoulder workshop, so some shoulder difficulties were to be expected). She was feeling pretty embarassed about being "the only one in class who couldn't do the pose" (which I don't think is quite true), and I explained all of the above to her. It was the first time I'd thought out and articulated what happened to me in class a few days prior. I hope it helped her; it helped me to realize it.

I just felt I had to share. :-) Namaste.

Labels: yoga

As you may know, I have recently taken up sewing in an attempt to break the Cosmo-forged chains of fashion and breathe in a new dawn of creative freedom.

You can imagine how well that's going.

However, I did achieve a milestone this weekend: I successfully finished a pair of real, honest-to-god wearable pants. See for yourself!





FUCK OFF THEY ARE TOO PANTS. *grin* They are ginormous harem pants and they are supposed to look like a big poofy skirt. Oak Town Posse's got nothing on me, man! Hammer's all "gee where was Jeannette two decades ago when I was popular?"* Okay, the waistband is a bit gimpy and the pants are easily two feet longer than my legs, but DAMMIT I FINISHED SOMETHING AND IT ACTUALLY TURNED OUT KIND OF LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO. And I only had a tiny fuckton of help from sewing goddess Rachel and bellydance queen Sandra. (Thank you!)

Next project: authentic Victorian nightclub wear! :-D






*Answer: much closer to infancy

Labels: sewing

It is freakin' beautiful lately.

Sorry to make this a boring post about the weather, but it has just been too amazingly wonderful to pass up. The last few days have found themselves around 70º, and I've been sitting out on the porch trying to make my bra for our upcoming belly dance festival. I made a pattern for it yesterday -- we'll see how it turns out. Darts. Yeesh. But anyway, today promises to be yet another lovely day, and my less-new friend Rachel (hi Rachel!) and I are off to a craft/sewing/whatever festival thing in San Mateo. Hooray!

I feel pretty damn good today. Better than I have in a while. Which leads me to realize I've been pretty doldrummy lately -- Cliff and I have been snappier than usual, I've been way way down on my belly dance, overly frustrated at work, etc. Is it merely a product of winter blues? Or, excuse me, what is it in today's fashionably medical parlance -- "seasonal disaffective disorder" or some such nonsense? Wait --- I think the acronym is "SAD" so that can't be right. Whatever, as long as I'm getting over it. :)

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to go practice getting crafty. ;-)

Labels: weather

This is the superest Mario I've ever seen. I would so play this game.



.... so this code seems to be teh suck! It worked fine in Safari but Firefox don't seem to like it. *shrug* ah well, at least the movie still appears to work.

Labels: Nintendo

This is the story of Jack and Jill, who decided to give up their silly pails of water for a while in order to see what else the world might hold for them.

All through her early life, Jill had never held a balloon. She didn't think it was possible to ever get a balloon, actually; she was resigned to the thought, and told herself sadly that it just meant more balloons for everyone else. Then, long after Jill had reached adulthood, someone showed her a way to purchase balloons for herself. It was a start, and over five long years Jill bought many pretty balloons, but still secretly longed to receive one as a gift someday, much as she still believed it would never happen.

Then Jack entered the picture. Jack was kind and sweet and patient. One day, after many years, Jack finally managed to catch Jill unawares, and gave her her first balloon as a gift! It was wonderfully big and beautiful, and she held onto it a long, long time before it popped. And afterward, Jill cried happy tears, amazed that she had finally, after all this time, been able to receive her beautiful balloon from Jack. She told herself not to get her hopes up, though, for even though she had finally received her first one she didn't expect Jack to spoil her with balloons every time they got together.

But then, the very next week, Jack surprised her with ELEVEN BALLOONS. One after another after another, he passed them along to her, each bigger and more beautiful than the last, until she felt like she was going to pass out. She was so surprised! It seemed as though the curse was finally lifted, and now she just might be able to receive balloons anytime. Time would tell -- but meanwhile, Jill was more in love with Jack than ever before, and life was very, very good. Hooray for Jack and Jill!






*NB: Jeannette still hates real balloons.

Labels: happy news

So I found the BEST V-day gift for Cliffle ever!

[image of nifty candy removed due to weird password requirement]

From the very-awesome company Despair, Inc., makers of the Demotivators posters which have always amused me.

So I discovered these and immediately attempted to purchase them from the website, but strangely, there was no "buy now" option. So naturally I then called the 877 number. What follows is as close to a geniune transcript as I can pull from my work-fogged brain:

Customer Service Rep: Despair, can I help you?
Jeannette: I was just trying to buy the Bittersweets from your website but can't for some reason.
CSR: Oh, yeah, those were discontinued.
NNTT: Oh no! But they're so great. Can I vote somewhere to have them come back or something?
CSR: Sure, send an email; they do pay attention to that sort of thing.
NNTT: But that won't help me for this year.
CSR: Nope.
NNTT: Well hell, these are genius. That makes me sad.
CSR: Mission accomplished.

At least they stand by their motto! *giggle*

Labels: customer service

Not-so-subtle commentary from McSweeneys. Enjoy.

THE AMERICANS WHO VOTED FOR GEORGE W. BUSH WISH TO RETURN THEIR TELEVISION.
BY WAYNE GLADSTONE

- - - -

AMERICA: Yeah, hi. I bought this TV here about two years ago and I'd like to return it.

BEST BUY CLERK: Oh, yeah. I remember you. You loved this TV. What happened? Is it broken?

AMERICA: Broken? Well, I'm not sure. It's just that ... hmm. How do I explain?

BEST BUY CLERK: Well, what's the problem?

AMERICA: Well, I've heard there are other TVs? Like a smart TV that knows when your shows are on and can record them for you? One that can be programmed with parental controls and specifications.

BEST BUY CLERK: Yeah, sure, but you said you didn't want a smart TV. I remember. I tried to sell you that. But you said it was "haughty." That it gave you too much information—like it couldn't make up its mind. You wanted a "simple" TV that you could relate to.

AMERICA: Yeah, I know ... but this TV. I mean, sometimes I'll put it on a channel and it just stays there. No matter what. No matter how bad the channel is or how much I want something different. I even changed the batteries in the remote control and banged on the side of the set, but nothing works. It's like it's ignoring me.

BEST BUY CLERK: And that's a problem?

AMERICA: Well, yeah.

BEST BUY CLERK: But I thought you liked that. I remember. You were all like, "I like a TV that knows what it wants."

AMERICA: Well, yeah, that's true. And don't get me wrong. Sometimes I like what's on. I'm a very spiritual person, so sometimes I like the religious programming, but that can't be all there is.

BEST BUY CLERK: But that's why you bought the set. We watched The 700 Club together right in this showroom. I pointed out that all these other TVs had that channel, too—they just don't show it all the time. And you said you weren't sure you could trust a TV that didn't show it all the time.

AMERICA: Yeah, I remember ... Well, it gets confused.

BEST BUY CLERK: Confused?

AMERICA: Yeah, like sometimes—and this is going to sound crazy—but sometimes I'll tune in to one show and it will show me another.

BEST BUY CLERK: What do you mean?

AMERICA: Well, like the whole fall schedule. Supposedly, there are options out there. I've been reading about all these new shows in my local paper, but I can't watch them. I'll ask for Heroes and suddenly I'm watching 24 again. Just like that. It switches one thing for another like I'm not going to notice the difference.

BEST BUY CLERK: How long has it been doing that?

AMERICA: Well, in truth, probably from the beginning, but I didn't notice at first. I'm a pretty big 24 fan. And, also, I only just started reading the newspapers. They're mostly opinion, you know.

BEST BUY CLERK: Yeah, but, you see, nothing's really changed. Your TV's not broken. This is exactly what you wanted. You just changed your mind. I'm sorry, you can't just—

AMERICA: Oh, I know! It uses way too much energy. My utility bills are through the roof! Wasn't there some warranty that this TV would keep those costs down?

BEST BUY CLERK: No. Not in the warranty. It was in the advertising. They're not the same thing. TVs use energy. That's just the deal.

AMERICA: So there's nothing we can do?

BEST BUY CLERK: Sorry. Nothing now. There was talk of building more-efficient TVs. Ones that are better for the environment. That would free us from our reliance on our enemies' resources. Technology that might even provide a new source of revenue for America and create jobs for its people. And then we ...

AMERICA: Whoa, whoa. Easy. You're giving me a headache with all that.

BEST BUY CLERK: Yeah, that's what you said in 2000.

AMERICA: Oh.

BEST BUY CLERK: Yeah. You take care, now. But mark your calendar. Big sale coming in '08.

Labels: McSweeneys

Normally I take a vague and mild offense to the whole right = good, left = bad thing. It's rather ingrained in a lot of cultures, all the way down to the language itself. In Latin, the word for "right" is "dexter." Look familiar? The word for "left" is "sinister." Betcha recognize that one. Let's visit French, shall we? Right is "droit," closely related as I'm sure you'd guess to our English "adroit." Left is "gauche," closely related to our English "gauche." The world is against me.

Why do I take this vague and mild offense? Because I am, and surprisingly have always been, left-handed. Or mostly left-handed; like most southpaws I've had to adapt to a right-biased world, using right-handed scissors, glue sticks, etc. I don't attempt to shake left hands with people. I grin and bear it in belly dance class when we constantly drill on our right side because that's the way you're supposed to do things. It's always an interesting bit of acrobatics to be able to sign my name on the checkout pads with the pen that's always chained to the right side. I believe I have lasting back trouble from awkwardly curling around to be able to take notes in college lecture halls, on the convenient flip-up desks that were always on the right arm. Bastards -- there ARE one in nine of us, you know!

I have always dealt cheerfully with these things, because for some reason I believe I am somehow more interesting, perhaps even a better person for, being left-handed. I still have one of those dorky t-shirts that proudly proclaims me to be in my right mind, hahaha. Despite the fact that I am a pain in the ass in restaurants ("no, I have to sit there or else we'll be elbowing each other through the whole meal") somehow my genetic aberration makes me cooler.

Nah.

What's more, I think it's affecting me adversely somehow! I have several physical afflictions right now, and while I don't want to get into a poor-me hypochondriac posting, I can't help thinking this is quite strange. I will start at the bottom and work my way up.

~left big toe = gross.
~left knee = dislocated in high school and have been compensating for it ever since.
~left hip = screwed up with an overtight muscle, possibly related to knee.
~left shoulder = crunchy. Not sure how else to describe it but if you've felt it you know what I mean. ;-)
~left eye = vision twice as bad as the other eye.

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH MY RIGHT SIDE. Hell, I don't even think I have any symmetrical problems. Isn't that weird? Maybe it really IS scary to be left-handed, and I'm only realizing it now. Is it too late to switch?

Labels: sinister

Tune in tomorrow* for details on my amazing revelation that everything that is wrong with me is on my left!






*by "tomorrow" I mean "whenever I get around to blogging next," of course. :)

Labels: amusement, Nintendo, XKCD