Hi, blog. Make me a sammich.
I have determined that it's no longer fun to pretend to be racist.
I make a lot of racist jokes, I admit. Up until fairly recently, it was just a pattern of conversation in multicultural company, and we all laughed merrily together over everyone's jokes. Therefore, it was an in-thing, it was all okay, it was carefree and funny, and I never felt like a bigot because of it. It was funny for the very reason that I wasn't racist.
Fast forward to now. I have a new crowd of friends but the same stack of jokes in my head -- or, more to the point, the same "racism is funny" wiring. The problem is, my friends here in California are mostly whitish, and my terrible jokes definitely fall flat, because there's no "in" feeling to them anymore. Now I just sound like an asshole. And when people perceive you as a racist, you can protest all you want and all you end up doing is joining the Mel Gibson club. Perception becomes reality, right?
Yup, it is high time to get rid of that particular wiring.
***
I don't really blog anymore because I think I'm past the point of wanting to put every detail of my life onto the internets. I became afrighted when I learned of a website that trolls the Nets, agglutinates every bit of personal information out there on a given person (blogs, personal networking, Flickr, you name it, it will find it), and presents it all at once to whomever happens to want to find it out. That is freakin' scary. So I realize everything I've posted so far is in the blagosphere forever, but I don't plan on adding to it much. My plan was to give a last-hurrah post to announce our engagement; however, that still hasn't happened and today I was pensive, so here I am. And here I go!
I have determined that it's no longer fun to pretend to be racist.
I make a lot of racist jokes, I admit. Up until fairly recently, it was just a pattern of conversation in multicultural company, and we all laughed merrily together over everyone's jokes. Therefore, it was an in-thing, it was all okay, it was carefree and funny, and I never felt like a bigot because of it. It was funny for the very reason that I wasn't racist.
Fast forward to now. I have a new crowd of friends but the same stack of jokes in my head -- or, more to the point, the same "racism is funny" wiring. The problem is, my friends here in California are mostly whitish, and my terrible jokes definitely fall flat, because there's no "in" feeling to them anymore. Now I just sound like an asshole. And when people perceive you as a racist, you can protest all you want and all you end up doing is joining the Mel Gibson club. Perception becomes reality, right?
Yup, it is high time to get rid of that particular wiring.
***
I don't really blog anymore because I think I'm past the point of wanting to put every detail of my life onto the internets. I became afrighted when I learned of a website that trolls the Nets, agglutinates every bit of personal information out there on a given person (blogs, personal networking, Flickr, you name it, it will find it), and presents it all at once to whomever happens to want to find it out. That is freakin' scary. So I realize everything I've posted so far is in the blagosphere forever, but I don't plan on adding to it much. My plan was to give a last-hurrah post to announce our engagement; however, that still hasn't happened and today I was pensive, so here I am. And here I go!
Labels: apologies, navel-gazing

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